Why Sexy Starts in Your Mind
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Let me ask you something: When was the last time you felt truly sexy?
Not just when you were wearing something beautiful, but genuinely, deeply confident in your own skin? If you're struggling to remember, you're not alone. Between school drop-offs, work deadlines, and the never-ending laundry pile, feeling sexy can seem like a luxury we just don't have time for.
But here's the truth I've learned as a mom, wife, and woman trying to balance it all: sexy isn't something you put on. It's something you turn on from the inside.
The Mirror Doesn't Define You
We've been taught that sexy is about how we look. The perfect body, the flawless makeup, the expensive lingerie. But I'm here to tell you that's backward thinking. Some of my sexiest moments have happened in old pajamas with messy hair, simply because I felt good about who I was in that moment.
Your mind is where confidence lives. It's where you decide whether you're worthy of feeling amazing or if you'll spend another day hiding behind baggy clothes and negative self-talk.
What Does "Feeling Sexy" Actually Mean?
Before we go any further, let's get clear on what we're really talking about. Feeling sexy isn't about being someone else's fantasy. It's about:
- Knowing your worth and owning it
- Feeling comfortable and confident in your body, exactly as it is today
- Moving through the world with intention and presence
- Honoring the woman you are, not just the roles you play
When you feel sexy, you walk differently. You speak up for yourself. You make choices that honor your needs, not just everyone else's.
The Mind-Body Connection is Real
Here's something I discovered after years of trying to "fix" my body first: your mind and body are constantly talking to each other. When your thoughts are harsh and critical, your body responds by tensing up, slouching, hiding. But when your thoughts are kind and appreciative, your body relaxes into confidence.
Try this right now: Sit up straight, take a deep breath, and think of something you genuinely appreciate about yourself. Notice how your body responds. That's the power of your mind at work.
Breaking the Negative Thought Loop
I know what you're thinking: "This sounds great, but you don't understand how critical my inner voice is." Trust me, I do understand. I've been there, standing in front of the mirror picking apart every perceived flaw while my beautiful lingerie sat unworn in the drawer.
Breaking free from negative self-talk isn't about pretending everything is perfect. It's about changing the conversation you have with yourself from critic to cheerleader.
Instead of: "I hate how I look in this" Try: "I'm learning to appreciate my body for all it does for me"
Instead of: "I don't have time to feel sexy" Try: "I deserve to feel good about myself, even in small moments"
Small Shifts, Big Changes
The beautiful thing about mindset work is that small changes create ripple effects. When you start your day with one kind thought about yourself instead of ten critical ones, you set a different tone for everything that follows.
You don't need a complete personality overhaul. You just need to start treating yourself like someone you care about.
The Lingerie Comes After
Once you've started doing this inner work – once you've begun to appreciate the incredible woman you already are – that's when the external things become fun instead of stressful. The beautiful lingerie isn't trying to fix you or transform you. It's simply celebrating the confidence you've already built.
When you put on something beautiful while feeling good about yourself, you're not hoping the clothes will make you feel worthy. You already know you're worthy, and now you're just having fun expressing that truth.
Your Homework (Yes, I'm Giving You Homework)
For the next week, I want you to try something simple:
Every morning, before you start your day, look in the mirror and say one thing you appreciate about yourself. Not your appearance – YOU. Maybe it's your patience with your kids, your dedication at work, or the way you always remember to check on your friends.
Start there. Build that foundation of self-appreciation. Everything else – including how you feel in that gorgeous lingerie – will follow.
Because here's what I know for sure: you don't need to change a single thing about your body to feel sexy. You just need to change how you think about the incredible woman you already are.
Ready to start that conversation with yourself?
What's one thing you appreciate about yourself today? Share it in the comments – let's celebrate each other.